drawing
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drawing *
basically. any analog art made through mark making with a variety of tools including but not limited to : charcoal, pastels, graphite, ink, color pencil,
I made this at 17 when I was living in a shed in my grandparents back yard and taking art classes at community college. The shed gave me the feeling of safety and privacy I needed to reflect on the past few years of not feeling like I had a home.
People often assume this is about drugs. R u kidding, I would not develop a problem with drugs if they made me feel like this. drugs were the peaceful escape from the feeling in this drawing. but enough about drugs. since this piece is not about drugs. my piece about drugs can be found in the painting section , also taking place in the same location and time in my life, creating a drastic contrast and parallel, can be found in the painting section of this website. and that leads to the next question. no I do not have schizophrenia or psychosis. But I gotta admit, sometimes ptsd feels like that. In this piece I made visual the auditory hallucinations I experienced for a very short period of time. It was only a day or two where I was hearing the sounds that kept me up the night before when I was in a living situation with no privacy. The yelling and sobbing from “home” haunted me and followed me into my highschool bathroom. Multiple traumatic situations intertwined. led to moments where I stared at myself in the mirror before continuing on like I
“My simplest shit be more pivitol” - Kendrick Lamar in Poe Mans Dream (His Vice)
Self Portrait at 15
March or April 2022 in Geometry class
graphite pencil on graph lined notebook
just found out what CPTSD is and now I'm rethinking every experience ive ever had
in a drawing
self portrait of a perfectionist with no chill
there’s nothing interesting being communicated in this piece. what is interesting, is the story behind it. once again, how something is done says more than what is done.
this was one of my first assignments for Drawing and Imaging at Parsons school of design. I spent the entire night working on it at the NYU library and still didn’t finish it. I remember walking down 5th avenue as the sun came up and breaking down due to the physical and mental exhaustion, crying off my makeup just. in time to put it back. on and go to class. I still got the full grade, probably because of the quality and effort, but it was never enough to me.
